I Once Met A Girl From Ypsilanti

I want to travel to Ypsilanti. Not because there is anything in Ypsilanti that I particularly want to see, although I'm sure it's a lovely place and I'll bet they have a great waffle house or statue of a giant rooster. I'll settle for IHOP and Carhenge. I want to travel to Ypsilanti to meet a girl. I'm not hoping to fall in love or inspire a Lifetime movie or anything. I just want to be able to tell a story that starts off "I once met a girl from Ypsilanti." Its such an intriguing opening line that people will be hooked and have to know what happens next. Although what happens next really won't matter because the reader will have already fallen in love with this girl from Ypsilanti. She's probably beautiful, after all why else would you write a story about her? Maybe she's mysterious? Of course she is. She's more mysterious than a Tootsie Roll Tootsie pop. 200 licks? 400 licks? The world may never know. So why not start the story off "I once met a beautiful girl from Ypsilanti?" It's terrible. You practically gave away the whole story. And this beautiful girl, she sounds shallow. Why would I want to read about her? No. My story will start "I once met a girl from Ypsilanti." Her beauty is mesmerizing like Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's. She's quirky in a Meg Ryan Sleepless in Seattle kind of way. She's slightly uneasy in her own skin, which is an odd saying if you think about it because who is going to feel comfortable in someone else's skin? Hannibal Lecter. Touche. Our relationship will be too complicated to put into words but will easily be told in hieroglyphics and hand gestures. The story will be passed on from generation to generation with minor details changing. Movies will be made but it will always be said that they didn't do the story justice. The greatest story ever told won't be a story at all. It'll be a sentence, about a girl I once met in Ypsilanti.